unbecoming at nautilus teachings

 

you’ve been there
you’ve seen it
with your own two eyes
grandparents
moms
dads
siblings
all strangers to you
but yet so very familiar…
you see them at
the grocery
home depot
target
wally world
they
are
everywhere…
no matter who we are
we
want
happiness
smiles
giggles
and happy memories…
no one person
i know
hopes those they love
has sad
hurtful
damaging
lives…
we want
to watch their lips
curve upward
their eyes sparkle
and laugh along with them
as they throw their heads back
in complete joy…
this is why
at the youngest of ages
we are teaching kids
to high five
knuckles
the words love
please
thank you…
it’s why you see people
acting goofy
making weird noises
and silly faces
in public places
it’s why kids
take their favorite
blanket
doll
or even their thumb
wherever they go
to calm
give them peace
and teach them
life is safe
no matter where
they go…


we
do not get to pick
what memories
people hold sacred.
it’s not our job
or place
to tell them,
‘hold onto this
you will need this
in the future when you are sad’
or
‘you need to let that go
it will only harm you in years to come’
yet,
we
do…
we try to get them to plant
deep rooted seeds
that will nourish them
when they grow up
move away
get married
and start their own family…
but again,
we cannot force them
to hold some thing
some one
or some memory
worthy enough
to carry
throughout their life time…
we’ve all heard the saying
‘life is hard enough without adding _______’
to it…
what challenges?
choices?
beliefs?
our job
as parents
is to do the best we can
with what we have
to hope
our children
feel loved
accepted
forgiven
wanted…
but even if you are
the best of parent
our kids still are exposed
to other religions
other sexual orientations
drugs, alcohol
and a whole multitude
of choices…
when my son Nicholas
was small i refused to let
him watch ninja turtles
or any other show i
felt to mature…
i also never called him nick
and i made sure to tell everyone
‘his name is Nicholas,
not nick or nicky…’
in 1991 at the age of 5
he started kindergarten like
all the other little kids…
he was so excited
so adorable in his
white blonde curly hair
blue eyes
tiny body,
and like every other kid
he had his new backpack
stuffed full with everything on
the teachers list…
when he jumped off
the bus after school
he ran up to the farmhouse
smiling and so so so excited,
‘mom, mom, mom’
he yelled…
‘moooooooom’
i hugged him and waited
for him to catch his breath…
‘guess what mom?’
‘What?’
‘i had the best day. i made a best friend
who’s name is jeremy and
i decided my name is nick
and i LOVE ninja turtles…
jeremy says they come on tv at 4,
can i watch them?!!!’


then he unzipped his back pack
and pulled out leonardo
from his bag and proceeded
to fill me in on every turtles name
never stopping to take a breath…
this
was
his
‘mom, i am becoming my own guy,’
moment
and
my
‘come to jesus moment’
of acceptance
that
he
is
his
own little
keeper…
my job is just to love
and guide him
be his mom
and learn to grow myself…
now
some 26 years later
my handsome
grown up
married
daddy of his own son
still loves the turtles
batman, superman
cartoons in general
and is a strong
hardworking
extremely kind
and giving man…
no doubt
one of you will see me
with our grandson
out in public
making funny faces
high fiving
and giving knuckles,
because
after all
it’s
the simple things
that matter the most
not to mention
how good
a hug feels
from those tiny
sticky hands
around our aging necks…
embrace life
learn from it
don’t be afraid to grow
to change
for in all of this
unbecoming
we then are able
to live in the knowing
plain and simply
we are loved
no
matter
what…

 

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