to love again-nautilusteachings

enter stillness
enter stillness

birth wakes us
from
protected stillness…
from the moment
the cord
is cut
we seek
reattachment
for the rest
of
our
lives…
and with each
connection
comes
a memory thread-
a weaving
across the soul
leaving us changed
forever…
we are branded with
taste, smell, remembrance and touch
from each encounter
in our life…
as children we cling to
our mother
we trust they will keep
us safe, warm, fed and loved…
we are born
with a memory tracker
for each person
that touches our lives.
this can be a lot like
morse cod
filled with lots of
“DAH DIT DITS”
with the dit dits
(or dots)
encompassing the imprints
left by a person
upon our soul…

forever
forever

by the time
we are in our late 20’s
we have so many threads
woven within us
that we are no longer
the person we were
when we were born…
we pick up mannerism’s
whether good or bad
of our friends, family,
loved ones and sometimes
even enemies…
we get lost
in the woven pattern
of our life.
the person
we finally end up loving
doesn’t get a ‘first run’
but sees a
‘love as is” tag
sewn across our heart…

yes!
yes!

with each new person
we weave
into our life’s journey
more imperfections
as we carry
sorrow
happiness
and love..
we are still searching
for that perfect
connection
the one felt from womb to child
before a separation
of life
into breath…
we all know
love
breaks
our heart
and that new love
makes us feel
young again…
as we age
their is a
flowing of
familiarity
from our present
to our past…
with so many currents
coursing through our veins
it’s a wonder
we are ever able
to love again…
yet there is this longing
this peace
this loneliness
in the soul
that yearns to be
touched, held, listened to,
laughed with and loved…

believe
believe

“By 25 months after the spouse’s death 61% of men and 19% of women were either remarried or involved in a new romance.” –
US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health

what happens when we loose love?

when we loose a life-long love
we are already stamped
with habits, pathways, likes and dislikes.
we are already set
on what we thought
was going to be our journey until death…
yet one day we wake with a
tsunami of upwellings
sucking us down deeper
than we have ever been,
winds encircling us
tearing us to pieces
we lie scattered and broken
like the shells do
upon the sandy beach
we walk upon…
no one picks us up
or takes a second glance
because we are shattered
no one wants someone
with dings, dents, wounds
and no direction…

inner strength
inner strength

we are washed in and out
with the ebb and flow
of the water
as life’s tidal motion pulls
us in every direction
until at last we find ourselves
bobbing up and down
in the crystal clear
blue waters of the Gulf Stream
and we are washed
completely
by our faith
and stitched back together
by God…
as we begin the slow
melodic swimming to shore
we notice behind us
the horizon
is calm
as we accept the pieces
of our cracked self
and begin painfully
tacking back
the woven threads
of memory…

breathing again
breathing again

we then begin to find
our buoyancy
and gracefully
yet slowly
glide back
into life…
we look a little funny at first,
it’s hard to walk
into a room
and not weep
our lips tremble
at the thought of speaking
our clothes
unmatched,
hair
tousled…
yet,
we are upright,
present,
WE ARE THERE…

IMG_4804
ready for a new
heartbeat to aline with ours
and begin once more
to have the wind at our back
sailing easily
along with the shore of our life…
we still have days
when we hunker down
and cover up
as the storm clouds
take over
as we lie weeping
within the shell
of memory…
at the moment
we feel we can take no more…
the sunlight
dips from behind the darkness
we open our eyes
and
there
stands
love.

love
love

“who would want me?” you think..
“i’m a mess
do i really want to love again?
do i need love, pain, loss one more time?
I like the arms of sadness
holding onto me
and i like their voices
singing to me
stay and wallow!”

so you fall
and are
cradled into
the greedy hands
of memory…
love
slowly
defies
you.
it takes
one
step
closer.
you feel the
melodic pull
of a new
vibration
unknown to your
entirety…
the more steps
love takes
the more it
captures your heart.
one by one
the arms of memory
fall and wither
at your side
as you are caught up
in the dance
of new love…
you smile
breathe,
sing
about life…
memories lay
at your feet
no more.
you have
allowed them to be
knotted in gold
safely
in your heart song.
the jagged,
unraveled edges
of what was left of you
now firmly attaches
to the roots of the flower
blooming beside you
feeding from
God’s light
grace,
love
and
you
are
happy
once
more…

IMG_4738
you embark on
new adventures,
new memory threads…
each one making you
stronger…
you begin
one more time
to feel
and
give
love…
your feet
assuredly set
you are now
tandem surfing
your way
into shore…
embracing each
sunrise,
dancing under
the stars
and feeling
the weight
of memory
begin lifted…
you
are able
to embalm
the broken threads
of your life
with forgiveness
and release them,
allowing
your
soul
to begin
to live
without
surface pain
knowing
all memory
is safely
gathered
within…

home
home
Read More to love again-nautilusteachings

pelican calling -nautilusteachings.com

pelican calling
pelican calling

what is your calling?
what are you to hear?
is one life
more worthy than another?

walking the beach
i see two glorious
beautiful pelicans
laying lifeless
as one sits in
silent vigilance
over the death
of his friends…

sad beauty goodbye
sad beauty goodbye

i sit with him.
he looks at me
rolling his eyeballs
back and forth
sometimes pausing –
closing his eyelids…
he doesn’t move.
i speak words of comfort-

to a pelican

eyeballing me
eyeballing me

it is obvious
he feels this loss,
for he will not leave
the bodies of his friends…
people walk by-
he doesn’t flutter.
people walk up-
he doesn’t move.

he sits and he mourns

is his heart so
different from ours?
does he have
some type of emotional attachment
to the flock in
which he has been a part of
his entire life?

how different is that
from humanity?
why does it have to be
different?
Whales and dolphins
mourn the loss of their calves
or loved ones
a swimmer
missing from their pod…

morning calling
morning calling

this circle,
this magic,
this give and take,
this ebb and flow
of life
on this
timeless
glorious beach
i get to
walk each day…
the sun rises,
i thank it for
blessing me
with breath
for awakening me
by the spirits
in the morning,
calling
their repetitious
echoing
in praise
of
hallelujahs
to the Lord
our God above…
to the gift
of life..

flight
flight

and then
grace and beauty
lie upon the sand
motionless
and my heart
weeps
for a majestic bird
i would gladly
take flight upon…
soaring me over
ocean blue
as he skims the water
catching his
fish for the day…

wings outstretched,
gliding effortlessly
only to come home..
to land upon the beach
and mourn
the loss of
two of his buddies
who at one time
graced this beach
with their beauty
and the silent wonder
as we
watch them fly
along the Atlantic coast
of our tiny beach town.

cocoa beach
cocoa beach

What calls you home?
where do you land
for safety?
who welcomes you?
when you are gone
will you be missed?
will hearts ache
for your giggle
the sound of your voice
the touch of your hands?
will they sit in silent wonder
on the holy night
you take flight
on God’s wings of love
knowing
you are home?
in feeling this
loss
this hole within their
soul
will they too
sit in
silent vigilance
as this
lone brown pelican
did on this
sunny, warm morning
in march
upon the sand
of cocoa beach?

thank you Lord
thank you Lord

we can only live
our life truthfully
through our faith
trust
and belief in God
center your life
around your faith
and your wings
will unfurl
lifting
up
towards
God’s
grace
light
and
love…

who waits for you?
who waits for you?
Read More pelican calling -nautilusteachings.com

voices calling- nautilus teachings

be still and listen
be still and listen

there is a beating
of a million hearts
echoing across
this land
so many are
sad and lonely…
yet for one,
she takes a stand.
she says
“my heart will break no more,
i’m tired of it being
torn into shreds..”
this once lost soul
is down on her knees
within a circle of many
bowed heads
for she has heard
the calling
the heartbeat
close to hers
it seems like it’s inside
her soul,
her being,
her body
trying to break out
the beating makes her body shake
it makes her dizzy in the head
she stays on bended knee
and listens where to be lead
she hears the calling louder
hands tapping on the drums
the voices echoing
all night

listen to the calling
listen to the calling

til the morning sunrise
hums
she sees her footpath lit
by the early morning dew
she knows the words
she knows the task
of what she is to do
for the circle
of life’s celebration
reverberates within
as her heart beats
even faster
releasing all her sins
all the eyes of many
all the faces
pointed up
their hands raised
to the sky
they start
a melodic chanting
to their Father
in the sky…

HE calls you
HE calls you

tears stream down
all the cheeks
as she watches
and listens
she feels numb
for her head is bowed
upon the ground
as she feels the morning sun
rising up and beginning
to warm her back
she feels HIS arms around her
she hears the calling
rising from the earth
beating so loudly
she begins to sway
and soon she finds herself
dancing
hand in hand in celebration
listening to the words
she needs to say
as her head rises up
she spins in circles
hearing just HIS voice inside
the others have subsided
“come on” HE says,
“I want to take you on a ride…”

soar through your faith
soar through your faith

all at once they fly
like birds with wings
across the vast blue ocean
she does not know
just what she feels
because she is overcome
with emotion
as HE carries her in flight
HE dips her toes down on
waters edge
she loves the feeling of soaring
like the birds
she sees each day
when all at once
HE lands with her upon the silky sand
cradling her once more
with HIS strong
and loving hands
HE looks into her eyes
she sees an echo
of HIS song
and hears
the heartbeat once again
and knows
this path is the
one which
she belongs
she knows
the voices
which waken
her from slumber
singing loudly in the night
she’ll carry them
them within each day
for she knows
she may have
to fight
for people
to believe her words
to hear the love
HE sends to her
to know that she is true
that she was given
the gift
of hearing
the voices calling
upon the
mornings dew…

Nautilus coaching
Nautilus coaching
Read More voices calling- nautilus teachings

why coaching-nautilus teachings

acceptance of facts
acceptance of facts

“the facts, Ma’am just give me the facts…”
over 11,000 people live in Cocoa Beach, Fl
what was the percentage of people
upset over the taking down of the glass bank?
how many thousands of photos were taken
during the meticulous process of taking it apart
piece by piece for salvaging?
how many memories did you recall
as you walked by the bank?
for a northerner who is a recent transplant
in this beautiful city
i was filled with the excitement of
what could possibly fill up this space?
i was glad to not have to smell the black mold
or see a tired old worn down building every day
across the street from the beautiful sunrises
which reflect off of the monument of
11 time world champion surfer Kelly Slater
we deserve beauty in Cocoa Beach!

sunrise
sunrise

i love living here.
i love the people
I opened my tiny Bali Studios here
8 years ago
and have been teaching women and children
for 6 years now.
i am filled with gratitude every time
my studio is filled with laughter, creativity
smiles and lasting friendships.
i have been embraced by Cocoa Beach
and for this i say thank you.
now as i expand my business to include coaching
you may ask yourself, why?

unbelievable truth
unbelievable truth

well, in 2013 there were 41, 149 reported suicides
18% of the US population suffers from anxiety
20% suffer from depression
24 millions have eating disorders
all in all 57.7 million people in the US
suffer from mental disorders…
these numbers to to me are astounding and overwhelming…
one needs only to drive down A1A
and you will see homeless people
we all know there are drugs
and alcoholism effects too many…
but i love my town because for the most part
it really is awesome and we are no
different from any other town
every place you go there are problems..

me
me

for those of you who don’t know me,
i am a 53 year old artist
born and raised outside Chicago
I have a bachelors degree in education and art
i also have a art therapy certification
and i minored in religion
i am married

i have three grown children

who many of you know
and two dogs
who i love love love
i have very deep faith
and believe in God.

“if
GOD
was
my
center
then
FAITH
was
my
silly
putty.
for
i
have
been
bended,
stretched,
molded,
rolled up,
flattened out,
pounded down
and still
i
bounce
up
towards
God’s
light
through
my
faith.

faith grew me.”

justnautiluscoverfinaljustfrontjournal copy
I have written a book
Nautilus: A Message of Faith
and a workbook
two more sets will follow in this series…
I have been blasting
twitter,
facebook
instagram
and linkedin
with
nautilusteachings.com
my blog…
just trying to get
you to ask me
what can you offer me?

balance your life
balance your life

getting you to take the leap
towards healing your life
through your faith…
by hiring me to be your coach,
you will achieve
balance
i will walk you through
step by step
or as i say in my book
chamber by chamber
until you reach the top
of the spiral staircase
and are happy.
you will learn
what causes your
anxiety, sadness, insecurity
to name a few
i will teach you life skills
to master
the need
to control
everything around you
you will learn to embrace flaws
to laugh at stumblings
and to get back up
find your buoyancy
and float
very easily
through
this
crazy
mess
we call life…

promise
promise

so instead of looking at the glass bank
and complaining about how
it could
have been saved
you will look with new eyes
at the beauty of releasing
that which is holding you back
and living truthfully
with a dream
a smile
and the
acceptance
you
are
forgiven
you
are
unconditionally
loved…

accept my words as truth
accept my words as truth

i am living proof
this works
that Nautilus
works
let me help you today…

Read More why coaching-nautilus teachings

call me crazy and thats ok! nautilus teachings

call me crazy!
call me crazy!

the voices
they just call me
i can run
but i can’t hide
i hear all their
stories
i feel them
all inside
the world is hushed
around me
yet i still
feel them in
my bones
telling me
their tales
as they journey
to their
home
most people
think i’m crazy
and of this
i truly see
but i’m
telling you
they wake me
one day
i may hear YOU-

accept my words as truth
accept my words as truth

just wait and see
the words
they come
so clearly
the message
writ in black
i know if i don’t
get it out
it’s never coming back
for these
are such brief moments
of someones life
i may not know
yet i hold them
just as sacred
as the voice
which calls them home
so one day
if you hear
from a crazy artist-
that person being me-

yes, they do
yes, they do

believe the words
i tell you
they are given free
i don’t ask
and i don’t think
no questions cross
my lips
i just open up
this heart of mine
as they take me
on word filled trips
telling me
of happiness
and of their
of release..
of feeling
no more pain..
then,
just as quickly
as they came
they turn
and walk away…

enough said!
enough said!
Read More call me crazy and thats ok! nautilus teachings

He says/She says love -nautilusteachings

he says
he says

he says, “i will build you a castle…”

she says, “made of sand…”

he says “i will give you diamonds…”

she says, “seashells will do…”

he says “i will take you on journeys…”

she says, “i will paint your dreams…”

painted dreams
painted dreams

he says, “i will hold you forever…”

she says, “one day at a time…”

he says, “i will love you always…”

she says, “one breath at a time…”

he says, “i will buy you flowers…”

she says, “he loves me, he loves me still…”

he says, “i will walk with you side by side…”

she says, “let’s leave our footprints in the sand…”

he says, “i will never leave you…”

she says, “hold my hand…”

he says, “i will buy you anything…”

she says, “all i need is your love…”

loved by him
loved by him

 

 

Read More He says/She says love -nautilusteachings

flatlined -nautilus teachings

flatlined
flatlined

there are days when you wake up flat
when there is nothing in your head
all you want to do is crawl to the beach
and lay your body on the sand
exhaustion seeps from every pore
you are drained
no expectations
you lie empty..

she walks
head down
with her back
to the wind
coffee in hand
thinking
how do i begin?
it’s time.
i need to find my wings
i need to fly
but there is nothing
but this dream
lurking inside her head
of guiding,
teaching
coaching
women
who struggle
like she did…
life does not come easy
for all of us
there are many
who still
no matter how hard we fight
always end up in last place…

dear God....
dear God….

she walks and walks
her mind stays clear
she’s flatlined
there is not a thought
hope
or an errand
in her head
she comes to the steeple
her eyes cast down
laying upon the ground
a pair of wings
God has send her
to this flat
empty
windy
beach
one broken shell
in the shape of wings
she sits and ponders
this gift of flight
others would pass it by
she knows
it’s just right…
it’s the symbols
He sends her each day
as she walks
along the the shore
of the Atlantic
and she
never
ever
talks…

these old wings
these old wings

meditation
silence
stillness
and thanks
she sits
and sits
then
wings in her hand
she slides
down the sandbank
the tide is low
but the ocean is fierce…

even when the tide is low
it can still be raging and full
just like the body
when we do not take time for stillness…
she opens her eyes
and upon the beach lay
hundreds of shells
that should have been swept away
she rises to walk
the wind in her face
her mind is still
as she slows her pace
wings in her hand
a song in her heart
she’s ready to fly
she’s ready to start…
no more flatlines
her body
in now in rhythm
with the
waving
of her
wings…

time to unfurl
time to unfurl
Read More flatlined -nautilus teachings

dots of forgiveness-nautilusteachings

here comes the rain
here comes the rain

there are days
when the rains come
when you wish
them away,
“please don’t come,
please don’t come,
stay away
stay away…”
there are days when
the pain of remembrance
overwhelms you
locking you once more
within the iron cage
of memory.

you know the feeling.
it starts with a sprinkling-
a familiar taste,
scent
image
color
it begins with just one
and soon you are covered
in dots
of consciousness .
you’ve trained your mind
to deflect
the emotions
of pain
you sealed up your scars
with the balm of
your faith…
you gave it all to God
you released
asked for forgiveness
felt His healing power
take over your life…
yet at this moment
your skin is being spotted
with the familiarity of your past…
once more you fall to your knees
“Lord,
i give it to you…
hold me
heal me
don’t let me fall”

Lord, hold my heart
Lord, hold my heart

the veil of darkness
begins to lift
as you walk onward
back into your life…
rounding the corner
you feel the sting
of the last words hurled at you
the last slap upon your cheek….
pausing,
you breathe in…
you don’t want this memory
you’ve already given it to God
why at this moment
in your happy life
is it washing over you
flooding you with pain…
sprinkles,
tiny sprinkles
like baby kisses
from the morning rain
you release
let it go
as the tears
cascade
down your cheeks
as your soul
echoes the pain
the suffocation
felt so long ago…
for three minutes
you loose the grounding
of your faith
three long minutes
your face is pointed up
towards His Grace

shine on me, Lord
shine on me, Lord

you call out the words
“why now Lord?
what have i done to deserve
this resurgence
of upwellings..?”
and just as you
start to succumb to
the acceptance
of your shredded past
walking old footpaths
feeling unworthy
God’s
warmth
encompasses
you…
goosebumps
surface upon your skin
you hear His words
His song
of your youth,
“Jesus loves me…”
you feel the familiar
clasp of His hand
His fingers entwining with yours
as He lifts you into His arms
cradling you.
you feel
release of sprinkled memory…
you lay your head upon His shoulder
and breathe in the familiar
aroma of His
grace, light, love, energy, acceptance
faith and forgiveness-

"GLLEAFF"
“GLLEAFF”

the essence of your Faith…
He is the eye
the center of your life
as you continue on your journey
peaks of golden sunlight
shine through the clouds
turning the specks of
your scarred remembrance
into faded photographs
of healing forgiveness.

Read More dots of forgiveness-nautilusteachings

Painter of our lives-Nautilus teachings GUEST POST

Hello Friends-This post was written by Tara Cullison Fleming. A beautiful mother and friend.  I want to thank Tara for not just writing this beautiful prayer, but for thinking of me and sharing it with me..it is with gratitude I now share it with all of you.

Tara and her beauties
Tara and her beauties

 

Thought of you…

Heavenly Father, painter of our lives. I pray you focus our thoughts, you focus our efforts, you focus our gifts on the canvas of our lives that you are painting.

Lord, each brushstroke represents a moment in our life, but Lord you are painting the big picture. Lord thank you for painting the rough places smooth, thank you for painting the mountains and hills to lower, thank you for painting the valleys to rise, and thank you Lord for painting clarity on the cloudiness

Lord not only have you chosen each one of us to paint but you already know every brushstroke

God paint our roots deep down in You, that we may not be moved

Father paint us being filled with your breath of life. Lord paint away the darkness of our sin with Your light. Show us that we are not a picture of our sin or circumstance.

Lord paint our blind eyes open that we may never put limits on Your almighty power

God paint us as Jesus with skin on…so that in our painting we are not alone but leading people to You!

Father paint us on Your great dance floor, celebrating joyfully the daily gift that you give us…the gift of today! Let us not focus on what has been painted or will be painted….bring all our focus to You….the artist!

We are called Your masterpieces. Help us to be confident in ourselves…Your art.

Father if we wander off the canvas help us remember Your grace and mercy will always, always paint us back

LORD paint us the way you want us…never let us try and take the brush from you

Lord add brushstrokes of knowledge, compassion, wisdom, forgiveness, kindness, faithfulness, love, contentment, integrity, self control, respect, courage, generosity, joy, perseverance , humility, responsibility, hope, patience, passion for You, gratitude, and boldness this day and everyday

I love you Lord….artist of my canvas!

Amen

Read More Painter of our lives-Nautilus teachings GUEST POST

strength-dignity…nautilus teachings

strength
strength

Proverbs 31:25
“She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.”

the morning is
covered in mist
cloaked in dew
from the glistening of
the rising sun
small birds
flit down waters edge
beak open
lapping up small drinks
of ocean
hoping for a tiny fish
to fill their bellies
as they too
greet the new day…
already
encompassed
with  mystery
what new
surprises awaits her?

full of beauty and grace
she loves
witnessing
the birth of a new day.
the veil of imagination
lay across the beach
in still, silent beauty
the first peeks
of light hang over the ocean
like newborn baby stars
as the world
awakens
reflections of
pink water upon the sand
slivers of crimson in the sky…
she gazes downward
catching a glimpse of a
Nautilus
vacant of center…

what does it mean
to be without center?
without heart?
without balance?
without the vibration
of our Faith echoing
off our soul?

how do we find buoyancy
if we have no center?

centered
centered

the center is what pulls us toward
grace, light, love, energy, acceptance…

if we are without center
are we without faith?

what if we have no faith
what is your center then?
is it ego?
self?
food?
alcohol?
drugs?

a life uncentered is off balance…
we must, must, must
trust and believe
there is a greater power
to believe in
to have faith in…
if not
we are merely
drifting aimlessly at sea.
Faith binds us
to the commitment of
acceptance.
in acceptance of our Faith
their is forgiveness
of our sins
in the acceptance and
forgiveness of our sins
is the center-
the eye of God-
our Faith
His promise
to live eternally
with Him.

His promise
His promise

what pulls you away
from your true north?
is the cascading,
the calling ,
the desires
of the external world
greater than your Faith?
have you lost all
resistance to
that which calls you
Home?
is there a magnetic pull
towards
self abuse?
self hatred?
lack of confidence?
unworthiness?

it’s time to reset your life.
push the button!
feel the grace of God’s forgiveness
as the numbers on your
life odometer of sins
fall backward
landing at zero.

God gives us as many
button resets as we need
He loves, accepts and forgives
unconditionally.

we are His child

wrapped in love
wrapped in love

dry your tears
from your eyes
wrap your long arms
around your body
curl your knees
to your chest
as if once more
you are protected
in your mother’s womb…
close your eyes
feel God’s love, warmth
light, grace, energy,
acceptance and forgiveness
wash over your soul-
you are now
cradled in the palm
of God’s hand…
feel the rhythm,
the melodic rocking…
hear the wings
of your sins take flight
never returning
as He washes you
clothing you
in
strength
and dignity…
let the soft silky
robe of love
He gives you
give you the faith
you need
to stand
face to the sun
knowing
you
are
His
beloved.

amen!
amen!
Read More strength-dignity…nautilus teachings