mighty Bali Studios at nautilus teachings

 

 

how many of you
yelled at someone you loved,
were yelled at
by someone you loved,
felt frustration
stress
anger
and maybe even
cried again and again
during the past 5 weeks?
hurricanes
do this.
life does this.
and i know
we
are
TESTED
over
and
over.
i know it’s for a reason.
i know it means change.
i know my path is changing.

i have strong faith.

when the storm hits
i have tremendous inner strength
i can get stuff done quickly
i am good.
clean up-
no problem,
i will climb on the roof
haul branches
mop floors
rake leaves
clean stuff up…
but today
i
finally
succumbed
to it all…
as i watched
my tiny Bali Studios
floor be ripped up
in less than an hour
as i saw all the spots
of paint being thrown out
by guys who were just
doing there job,
i sucked it up.
i mopped behind them.
told jokes
offered them a cool beverage –
even a cold titos…
they smiled
did their job
and left.
after, i sat
in d’s office
on the soft sofa
and cried…


not about the floor
geeeeez…
for me it is
a sacred place
a safe spot
a fun tiny room
overlooking mother ocean
i get to share
with so many women
and children…
seeing it
just disappear
so fast
crushed me
like a huge wave
slamming me against the
sand bottom
saying
wake up
swim
find air
you’ve got this…
i hate new beginnings.
i want to just spend
the second half of my life
comfortable
but God is saying
NOPE…
this is about me
my space
and the violation i have felt
in the past week…
i was secondary instead of calling me,
they went to him
to tear apart my studio
to open the door
and just
have their way at it
and i felt
secondary…
it’s my space
i want to make the calls
i want to hear from them
what is wrong.
so yes,
i was mad.
this morning
when i woke
i was looking forward
to a relaxing saturday
painting, cooking
seeing our grandson
and just as i finished
morning errands
my phone beeped
with,
‘they need to tear out your walls and floor…’
WTF?
when i arrived
and i saw the standing water
i knew
something
happened-
and it was not from the hurricane…
when just two days ago
my floor water reading was 17-
dry!
then
the
TRUTH…

from their mouths…
it was from my pump not working
because
they unplugged it
55 hours ago
it filled up over and over
from the dehumidifier
and wa – la
it flooded my floor.
they admitted it.
so,
here i am,
now.
it’s almost 6pm
my studio is bone dry.
my floor is gone.
i am clean.
i am alive.
i am safe.
i am done crying.
done being mad.
done
done
DONE…
now i begin research
on how to cover up
ugly terrazzo floors
and make my new space
sacred once more.
to do this
i turn inward
to my faith.
tomorrow
i will go to church
and pray
for guidance
a sign
to lead me
wherever God
needs me…
and HE will.
the studio will reopen
everyone will laugh and smile
life will continue
and i will grow…
i am no longer small
i can handle this
tiny setback
i can do this…
but today,
i just needed to
‘take one for the team’
so to speak
and remember the first ten years
of blessing, fun, laughter and friendship
knowing
we may be small
but
we
are
MIGHTY…

 

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